Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I have taken a little break from my blog, mainly because I didn't really have to much to say, about anyting, because I have been so dog tired from my day job, the humidity has been yucky, I swear one day last week I went in with curly hair becuase I did get a perm before we left for bike week, and 12 hours later, it was straight!! Literally!, and by the time I come home eat supper, check emails and do laundry and whatever else, I'm exhausted!

But now, I just have to vent..... I can only start out by syaing, "family, can't live with them and can't live without them"!! It all started this evening, when my son called, (remember, goof lives in Iniana with my parents) all upset, him and my mom were getting in to it, AGAIN....... and it really pinches a nerve with me, I understand, that my mom is still "hurt" because I moved here in 2006, but really when does it stop??? When I moved here, I moved here with my son, for us to have a fresh start, and to finally be out on my own with out family interference, but because I have been married several times, my mother has said that I am an unstable person. I say, I am a shit magnet for picking the wrong men!! I don't think is necessarlily means I am unstable!! I am happy to report, that after numerous failed attempts at marriage, I have found the prince that I have been searching for, and have manage to stay friends, with my last ex-husband, (the others I could care less for!!)

But back to my son, a 16 year old kid, can only listen to so much from his grandmother (who by the way is studying to become a Quaker minister), bad mouth his mom, and he finally has had enough, that my son defended his mother's honor! He was literally almostin tears tonite on the phone, I have been telling him since he left, that he can ALWAYS move back here, I never wanted him to leave. Its been hard not having him here on a daily basis with me, I have settled for Christmas breaks, Spring breaks, and a few weeks in the summer, and we are planning on him coming over around July 18th and staying with us, until after his birthday, but my mom is mad, because she wants him to play football, and if he comes here, he'll miss practice, and according to her, he won't be able to play. Which I think is a load of crap! I think she purposely sign s him up or wants him signed up for things, that way he can't come and visit! If you haven't noticed I am at the point, where I have had enough!

I gave my parent s guardianship of my son, for him to attend school there in Indiana, by no means did I give up my parental rights, there would be no way in hell that I ever would! I don't feel like she should be able to say whether or not he can be here. As you can tell, I have a lot on my mind tonite, part of me, wants to be able to have work everything out between my mother and my son, the other part, just wants to go to Indiana, pack his clothes and move him back TONITE!! But then that doesn't really solve anything does it?

For some reason, I feel like I have been on my mother's "control list", she is not like this with my brother, or my sister, well, I take that back, when my brother and his wife moved 25 minutes away, you would have thought they moved to ten buck two! I figured at the age of 36, (thats how old I was when I moved to Ohio) I felt like I was making the right decision, for my son and I, and as far as I am concerned it has been the right decision, the only bad decision, was not putting my foot down with my son, and telling him he couldn't move back, but then, I didn't want him to resent me.

I understand, that it was all new to him, we moved here he was 13, that is a rough age for any kid having to move from the only "home" he ever knew, start a new school, and try and make new friends, we moved here in August and by the first of November, he was back in Indiana!! But it also didn't help, with my parents, calling 2-3 times a day, crying and begging him to come back to Indiana! Since then, you would have thought that she has given birth to my son, that she is his mother and so on.......I guess I have been dis-owned, which is okay, I also think they blame me for my grandfather dying, he had cancer, the same cancer my mother was treated for a few months back, I guess they just thought I would stay in Indiana, and care for my grandfather, I talked to my grandfather about moving here, and he was okay with it, I am sure he worried about me, but he also knew I was making the right decision, getting away from the person who was hurting me the most, which was my mother! I guess, according to my mother, my brother and sister in law, think I am mad becuase they are friends with the same ex, I am friends with, and I am still not sure why that was brought up, I guess it's just her way of stirring the never-ending -pot of bullshit!!

Does anyone have a suggestions, advice, I'll take anything at this point. My family consists of my husband, son, my mother-in-law, and my brother and sister-in-law that lives in Florida, and I am good with that.. I guess if my other family members want to be a part of my life, they'll let me know!
I am done venting, I am now tired, I hope you have all enjoyed my rambalings this fine evening, I really didn't think it would be this long!! Though, I did have a lot built up!!


Linda June 23, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

Girl....I feel for you! Sorry that you have to go through all that with your Mother...She should not be putting you down in front of your Son.
I have a Son.. had several bad relationships..People telling me how I should be living, and raising my son...finally found my prince. All is good with me now!
My advise...Live to make "You" happy..Your Son, and your new Family.
Also..living in Ohio ain't so bad..I live here myself.
Take Care, and Good Luck!

Hugs to my friend

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